12 01, 2015

The Day The Love Of My Life Went Missing

January 12th, 2015|Ambient Despair, Assisted Living, Blog, Personal/Emotional/Spiritual, Psychology|

I still return to the mall where I last saw my wife. She was wearing a plaid skirt and blue windbreaker. I even remember the last conversation we had. We were standing outside of Florsheim Shoes and I was talking about the time I went fishing in Lake Ontario with the four nephews, and she [...]

26 11, 2014

H. KENNETH BAYNE 1928 – 2014

November 26th, 2014|Ambient Despair, Blog, Personal/Emotional/Spiritual|

To the man who watched me jump off the diving board at the country club swimming pool in 1962 . . .watched as I dropped like a rock, then jumped into the pool in his 3-piece suit to save me -- To the person that, nearly every year from 1958-1968, would pack me and my [...]

16 08, 2014


August 16th, 2014|Ambient Despair, Assisted Living, Personal/Emotional/Spiritual|

    With the tragedy of Robin Williams still fresh in my mind, I want to share something with you. Suicide saved my life. I mean no disrespect to the surviving family with this statement, nor do I seek to make light of another’s suffering. I’m simply recounting my experience. In 1995, at the age [...]

2 06, 2013

“The Ideal and the Actual, Like a Box All With Its Lid”

June 2nd, 2013|Assisted Living, Personal/Emotional/Spiritual|

I received the following letter yesterday: Martin, I came across your article in the Washington Post describing what it's like to live in assisted living when you're much younger than the average resident. My mother was diagnosed with Parkinson's just over a year ago, and she has terrible fatigue and weakness. She is 68. Just [...]

31 05, 2013


May 31st, 2013|Personal/Emotional/Spiritual|

The title constitutes six of the most frightening words in the English language. A week and a half ago I am rushed by ambulance to the ER. It is 6:00 am and I'm having a great deal of difficulty catching my breath. At first, doctors think it is a flare-up of my CHF (Congestive Heart [...]